A special boy of mine.

I have that special someone :) He is really sweet, really kind and amazing. I talk to him everyday and I do never want to stop from talking to him. I do not want to lose him neither that I want to break his heart. He is the one I truly love deep inside my heart and no one knows how much. Even I don't. But I know I love him a lot.

We meet rarely and we talk using Twitter or texting. Whenever I meet him, my heart goes real fast. And when I'm with him, my heart beats with that feel of love. I treat him like my own friend and talk to him like we're besties. But sadly, whenever we're about to leave each other, we just can't. And when he's gone, I'll miss him even if he just left for one minute. I want to be with him every second of my life but it's not like we're married or anything so yeah..

You know what's amazing bout this dude I'm in love with? He can be patient with my attitude that likes sulk and be mad at him for no reason. He says sorry and blames himself for something that I did. He'll turn himself down and let me win in every  cheeky fight we get into. He can't be mad at me. And whenever I'm mad at him, he'll let me be mad at him and just let me BE MAD. He's weird. But he's everything that I want in a guy and he's perfect.

There's this while when he didn't text, call or even tweet me. I waited cs I thought he's busy studying for PMR and I tried to understand his situation. But then after PMR he did not text me and like, talk to me, at all. I waited and waited til I got real mad and pissed at him. I thought that I am no longer important to him and shiz. And then he texted me. Saying sorry and all. And he promised to not do that again and now he's doing great :) I just hope that he'll never break my heart and make me wait again cs if he do that ever again, I'm not sure if I'll stay cool or not.

We have been together for 1 year and a month. I need nothing from him except for his love. No I dont need those cute teddy bears and those chocolate bars. I'm fine with him, only him. We honestly have never been in a fight cs he admits his faults and I admit mine :) We have no reason to break up cs we're happy with each other.

Of course I feel jealous at some times. Like me, sometimes I like guys I see in public. And yea I think he sometimes like girls he sees in public too :p So by realizing that I do stuffs too, it's actually a  stupid thing for me to be jealous. But anyhow, I know and I believe that he'll never cheat on me. #BELIEVE

I have lots to tell but it's never fun to read a long post, kan? So I'll stop now. Goodbye!

xoxo, 

Nrein

Things I do.

Life is unfair. But I still move on, still living my life like I always do. Because I always know that life is unfair. I've been through heartbreaks a lot, been through happiness a lot. And I thank Allah for that. I thank Allah for guiding me and being there when I'm alone and happy.

You know, I cry, smile and laugh a lot. But when I cry, that's the only time when I am totally honest. No lies. I usually cry alone in my bedroom. I talk to myself, I ask myself why did that happen, what is my fault, plus sometimes I don't even know why I am crying. But when I am really broken inside, I can't cry. So I smile. Eventho there's tears streaming down my face, one by one, I still smile. I say to myself that everything is going to be alright and this is my fate. And then, thinking of how stupid I was, doing things without thinking, I laugh after then. I laugh cs I cried and regret and be mad for something that I do, something that I actually asked for without realizing. You know what I mean? It means I still do stupid things when I already know bad things are going to happen after then. 

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Being alone is sometimes good, sometimes not. That good time goes when you really need to think something, really deeply, and you just have to focus and yeah being alone is the real solution. So that you can think logically and further. So that you can think wiser and prepare for something that is coming.
While the bad time goes when you're really sad, really depressed and you just need someone to talk to, to hug you, to tell you that's everything's going to be fine. When you just need to burst and tell everything out while crying as loud as you can, but the person is not there. I hate being alone at those times honestly.
But I've been through that. You know what I did? I duplicate myself so that I can have someone to talk to. I cry deeply loudly inside my heart and talk to myself and tell everything is going to be fine to myself and it usually works. It always works. Then I'll stop crying, and sleep and wake up like nothing happened. Yea I do that.
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I wonder if you do that too.. I wonder if you went through heartbreaks a lot too..
But no matter what, please remember that Allah is there. And always there. So don't ever forget to talk to Him when you need someone to talk to cs he is the best Listener. And don't stress your heart out, everything's going to be fine when you have strength to move on :)

xoxo,

Nrein